Getting back to Diana
On June 2nd of 2017, a movie came out that my mom told me that I would be obsessed with. When I sat in the theatre watching the movie a week or so after its release, mom looked at me as the theme began and said "you have no idea how much you are going to love this."
She was totally right. Wonder Woman became my mantra. I was obsessed with being the hero. I loved being in a theatre where a strong woman was not being saved. She was the one saving.
Another thing was happening on June 2nd of 2017. It was my 22nd birthday. On this day, I was not Wonder Woman. In fact, it was a horrible day. I spent this day sad, angry and mistreated. While people who loved me told me how special I was and wanted to celebrate me, I chose a day dedicated to someone who did not even buy me a birthday gift. Unlike Wonder Woman, I was internally begging to be saved while externally telling everyone that I was happy. I ate a lot, thinking cake would make me feel better, but sugar only makes something sweet in the short-term.
Binge eating has been a problem of mine for a really long time. I would hide food in my room when I was little. I would go through drive thru after drive thru in high school and college, because I could. It was a matter of self medicating. I would feel better for ten minutes, and then be bloated and sad for days after. You can't fix a bad day, a break-up, a flat tire or even a bad grade, with a Extra Value meal and McFlurry.
Now I did not gain all of my weight on June 2nd of 2017, but I sure tried to.
I would like to say that there was something that I could pinpoint as the start of my binge eating, but there isn't. It was gradual. It happened slowly, and all at once.
Thankfully, my recovery has happened the same way. There hasn't been only one thing that inspired me to lose weight, but a myriad of things. The Orangetheory transformation challenge. The challenge of walking up the stairs of my old job. The desire to compete in mud runs. The fear of not being able to keep up.
It all goes back to Wonder Woman. Diana Prince. I do not really remember where it came from, but the idea of dressing up like WW for Halloween changed everything for me. I bought a suit online, and trained to look the part to the best of my ability.
Luckily, I am the hero of this story. Like Diana, I have the support of people around me who want me to best me that I can be. Today, I have a new suit that I am trying to wear. It is much smaller, and requires even more hard work and muscle. This time next year, I will have competed in my first fitness competition. And you guessed it. My practice suit is Wonder Woman themed.
This morning, I put this figurine on my desk. It is a constant reminder that I can be Wonder Woman.
“If you need to stop an asteroid, you call Superman. If you need to solve a mystery, you call Batman. But if you need to end a war, you call Wonder Woman.”
Wonder Woman has been the attitude I have needed to end the war within myself. The mantra I need to say that I am worth it. She has been the person I have required to remind me to keep the people who love me close. The hero I need to make me believe that I can do anything.
She is out there. Find your Wonder Woman. And get back to being the Diana you need.
She was totally right. Wonder Woman became my mantra. I was obsessed with being the hero. I loved being in a theatre where a strong woman was not being saved. She was the one saving.
Another thing was happening on June 2nd of 2017. It was my 22nd birthday. On this day, I was not Wonder Woman. In fact, it was a horrible day. I spent this day sad, angry and mistreated. While people who loved me told me how special I was and wanted to celebrate me, I chose a day dedicated to someone who did not even buy me a birthday gift. Unlike Wonder Woman, I was internally begging to be saved while externally telling everyone that I was happy. I ate a lot, thinking cake would make me feel better, but sugar only makes something sweet in the short-term.
Binge eating has been a problem of mine for a really long time. I would hide food in my room when I was little. I would go through drive thru after drive thru in high school and college, because I could. It was a matter of self medicating. I would feel better for ten minutes, and then be bloated and sad for days after. You can't fix a bad day, a break-up, a flat tire or even a bad grade, with a Extra Value meal and McFlurry.
Now I did not gain all of my weight on June 2nd of 2017, but I sure tried to.
I would like to say that there was something that I could pinpoint as the start of my binge eating, but there isn't. It was gradual. It happened slowly, and all at once.
Thankfully, my recovery has happened the same way. There hasn't been only one thing that inspired me to lose weight, but a myriad of things. The Orangetheory transformation challenge. The challenge of walking up the stairs of my old job. The desire to compete in mud runs. The fear of not being able to keep up.
It all goes back to Wonder Woman. Diana Prince. I do not really remember where it came from, but the idea of dressing up like WW for Halloween changed everything for me. I bought a suit online, and trained to look the part to the best of my ability.
Luckily, I am the hero of this story. Like Diana, I have the support of people around me who want me to best me that I can be. Today, I have a new suit that I am trying to wear. It is much smaller, and requires even more hard work and muscle. This time next year, I will have competed in my first fitness competition. And you guessed it. My practice suit is Wonder Woman themed.
Wonder Woman has been the attitude I have needed to end the war within myself. The mantra I need to say that I am worth it. She has been the person I have required to remind me to keep the people who love me close. The hero I need to make me believe that I can do anything.
She is out there. Find your Wonder Woman. And get back to being the Diana you need.
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